Shift work can be brutal, but it doesn't have to be. Welcome to a healthy shift. My name is Roger Sutherland, certified nutritionist, veteran law enforcement officer, and 24-7 shift worker for almost four decades. Through this podcast, I aim to educate shift workers using evidence-based methods to not only survive the rigors of shift work, but thrive. My goal is to empower shift workers to improve their health and well-being so they have more energy to do the things they love. Enjoy today's show. And welcome back to another episode of a healthy shift podcast. I want to welcome you and say thank you so much for joining me on this journey. You're the shift worker, or you were the shift worker, and I'm here to guide you on this epic adventure of navigating shift work, and also on today's topic, which is an important one. And that is, I want to talk about something that doesn't get said out loud enough. And that is leaving policing or leaving any frontline role where this job becomes part of your identity. And I want to discuss that today. But before we do, I really want to ask you one very, very big favor. A lot of people are listening to this podcast now a lot. And I put it out there for nothing. I really enjoy this podcast. I really enjoy doing it. I enjoy delivering it. And I enjoy this format of being able to speak about things in a much more open way. People are listening as they're driving or, you know, you're out on your walk and you're listening to the podcast. And I'm ever so grateful that you actually do that. But hardly anyone rates or reviews it. And that is so important. It's so important for the show. It's not, it's not like a like where, you know, I get an ego trip out of it. It's really important on this particular platform that someone rates or reviews the podcast. And the reason why it's so important is because it supports the algorithm and helps it to get out so other people can actually hear it. So that when other people are searching for it, they hear it. It's also super important for me to get you to actually forward it, send it on. You can go into the show notes and you can actually send me a message through the show notes. Just it's just like a text message that comes through. And I'm ever so grateful for those. Um, when I actually get them, it gives me such a buzz because it shows that someone's actually listened to it. But I get a lot of people listening to this podcast every week. There's over 2,000 people listening to this podcast every week, but I certainly don't get that many ratings and reviews. Would you do me a favor, please? If you're on Spotify, just go back to the main page and there's like three dots there. You can click that and rate it. And all you gotta do, all you can do, you can't write a review for it. You can just hit the stars, and I would be ever so grateful. On Apple, you can actually hit the stars, you can go back to the main page, hit the stars, but you can scroll down to the bottom as well when you're logged in and you can actually write a short review. And those are really receive well because when somebody like you is looking for the podcast, they actually look to see what somebody else has said to see if it comes across as legit. Now, obviously, it's generally only fans that write and say things, and I get that and I understand it, but it is very, very endorsing and it gives me the enthusiasm to keep going with it. We're struggling everywhere in everything at the moment, but the podcast is one platform that I thoroughly enjoy and I do it. We've gone down a little bit of a different line of late with my part one, part two, and part three around policing. Um, and today is another one that's super important, uh, really, really important. And that is the bittersweet reality of actually leaving policing and the things that people need to be aware of and how you will feel or how you may be feeling if you have left and you're feeling a bit lost. Let me show you how seen you actually are. All right. It is a bittersweet, no doubt about it. And if you've left or you are thinking about leaving, if you're at the stage where you've had enough, this might hit home. And it's really important that you listen to it. Now, I'm not here to romanticize it, and I'm also not here to criticize the job either. I'm here to actually tell the truth from lived experience about what happens after and to help you. Because most of this no one will prepare you for. So I'm about to put my hand up, I'll take you on board, jump in, let's go for a ride. The first thing that you are going to need to accept is colleagues versus friends. Now, when you are in the job, you think they're your friends, and they are there for you all the time. You work together, you're reading together, you're driving around and you're chatting with each other at four, five o'clock in the morning, you're catching offenders, you're processing, you're celebrating the wins, and you go through things together that most people will just never understand. And that bond is real. And I want to be clear that that bond is real. But when you leave, something changes. The calls start to slow down, the messages stop, and you're no longer in that group chat. Or you may be, but then there's another one that's been formed that's left you out. And that's when you realize, and this is what you really do need to realize that for many of them, you weren't friends. What you were was you were colleagues. And it's not betrayal, it's actually what we call proximity. And the job created that connection, those colleagues, they created all of that. And while you're in and you think you've got all these friends, I want to be clear all you've got is colleagues. The job created the connection. When the job goes, so does the majority of the contact. And that can really hurt. But it also teaches you something very, very important. You now get to build friendships based on who you are now, not on what you were or the uniform that you wore at the time. Please take that for what it is. Some of you will be lucky and you have friends and your squad mates and you'll catch up, but remember they're colleagues. All right. And they are. They will be gone. And one of the things that I've heard so much on the back of my podcast just recently has literally been around I just got wiped. Like, I haven't heard from anybody. Like, it's just incredible. Like everyone was there now. Where have they gone? And I've had to tell people bluntly, they weren't friends. You think they're friends. You think when you're chatting amongst everyone that you're friends, but they're not. They're actually colleagues. And it's important that you understand that. The next one that I want to talk about is you're going to miss the adrenaline, but you won't miss the bullshit. Now, you will miss the rush. You'll miss the lights, the urgency, the sense of what you're doing, how much it matters in that moment right then. The sirens going, the lights going. The surge of adrenaline becomes normal over time and it becomes your baseline. But what you won't miss is the constant frustration, the politics, the decisions from above that never ever sat right with you. The paperwork that absolutely buried you. And that feeling of being managed instead of being trusted. You'll realize that you love the work and the job hasn't changed. I people have argued with me, but I'll take them to task. It's still about going out and playing cat and mouse with crooks and processing them and putting them before the court. It's what it is. It's just that it's been made incredibly difficult for you with the job. Parts of the system have made it really, really, really heavy. And it's okay to separate those two things. Smile because it happened, but smile also because you're not putting up with the other 95% of everything that went with that as well. Keep that one in mind. One of the most important things for you to remember as point number three, and that is just because you've left the job doesn't mean that your skills all disappear. You join to help people. And somewhere along the way, the job trains you to operate at a level that most people never will and never will be able to. You can make quick decisions under pressure. You're used to seeing problems, solving problems. You can read people very quickly. You can stay calm when others can't. And you can act without actually freezing. Those skills don't belong to the organization. I want to be clear on that. They belong to you. Confidence under stress, leadership in chaos, emotional control in a volatile environment. And that translates everywhere. The mistake that many make after they're leaving is thinking, but all I know is police. I don't know anything else. And that's bullshit. And I'm going to call you out on that because it's just not true. What you do know is you know resilience and you know accountability, you know responsibility. And those, my friend, are very, very rare skills that you have. Keep that one foremost in your mind. Once you leave the job, it's educated you. You've got all those skills. They don't belong to the job, they belong to you as the individual. And you can build on those as well. Number four is another very important one. Now, I've spoken about this a number of times, and people have pulled me up and asked me for clarification on it. And I think it's a really important one. Values alignment. Now, when you first joined, the reason why you joined is because your values aligned with the organizational values, whatever they were. And you are different from you and you and you, and everybody is actually different in relation to it. The service, the courage, the integrity, that teamwork. There was a harmony. There was. And that's why you did it. That's why you joined. That's why you just saw it as a value and it aligned with your values. But over time, something shifts. Maybe it's the culture that changes. Maybe you get a change in leadership. Maybe you change. But when your values no longer align with the direction of the organization, tension builds and conflict builds inside you. You'll feel it in your chest. And you feel it on the night shift. You'll feel it on your days off. You feel it around your family. And you feel it when decisions are made that just don't sit right with you. And leaving at that point does not make you weak. And it doesn't make the organization evil. It simply means that your alignment with it is gone. And misalignment creates conflict within from that side and also from your side. Sometimes the most peaceful thing that you can do for your sanity is to step away. I want you to keep that one in mind and foremost in your mind. Number five is feeling flat after you leave. Now, this one surprises people. You leave. And instead of feeling free and liberated, you can actually go through a stage where you feel flat. You feel bored, deflated, you've got low energy. Good. Because that tells me that your nervous system has been running hot for years. Policing or frontline is a very, very escalated environment. And you're living in a heightened alertness all the time, hypervigilance. And over time, that becomes your new normal. So when you remove it, your system actually drops. And that drop can feel like depression. But often it's just you re-regulating, it's your body recalibrating back to the baseline. Think about it. Adrenaline was never meant to be your normal, and it's actually unhealthy to be living adrenaline fueled all the time. It's really unhealthy on your body. It's highly taxing on it and it's stressful. Give your system time. Take the time. Don't think, oh my God, I'm depressed. It's actually you flatlining. It's actually you coming back down to being a normal human again. That one's a really important one. Number six is the pressure from above. When you're in the job, and this is what I've learned since I've left as well. When you're in and when you leave, you're not just carrying your own decisions. What you are carrying is the weight of the decisions made above you. You're also carrying the weight of decisions that have been made by politicians. Hello, COVID. Policies, targets, public scrutiny, media narratives. And sometimes those decisions don't align with your own personal ethics. I want to reiterate that. Because COVID was a classic example of this for many, many nurses, police and paramedics and firees, in particular, police and nurses and paramedics. A lot of decisions that were made did not align with your own personal ethics and values. And that internal conflict is actually exhausting. And once you leave, that pressure literally lifts off your shoulders. You are no longer defending decisions that you didn't make. Although I would argue that you could be. Because over the last few weeks, in particular, on social media, I have copped heaps of flack of why would you be giving it getting any sympathy because of the way you behaved in COVID? The way I behave. Okay. Can you see how it works? People are judging you for decisions that were made by government or leaders in your job. And you have to carry that. And that is really difficult. Now, when you're no longer there, there's actually a relief in the fact that those decisions are no longer made over the top of you. You may not notice it immediately, but it is there. And what I will say to you as well, and this is something that's really important that people understand, is doing things that goes against what you see and perceive as the right thing being directed by someone else above you can actually cause moral injury. And moral injury is quite serious, and it's something that needs unpacking through therapists to actually understand why it's impacted you so hard. The next one is exposure to trauma. That's number seven. And this one really does matter because as a police officer, paramedic, as a nurse, you'll see things that most humans just should never see. You will attend scenes or treat people that most people could not possibly imagine. And you will hear stories that will stay with you. You will see things that will stay with you forever. And even when you think you're fine, your nervous system is actually storing it. And when you leave, you are no longer adding to that load. You are no longer continually exposing yourself to trauma. But I want to be very clear with you. Very clear. So you understand. Just because you've left, that doesn't mean that it's all erased. But it does stop the constant accumulation. And this matters for your long-term health because it means then that once you calm and your nervous system relaxes, it gives you the opportunity to let these things go. And this is important. And this is one thing that I really learned about the self-regulation through breathwork of being able to open those loops, deal with them, and close those loops within. And it's given me such peace inside. It is very important that you understand that. Number eight, I've written, is this gamble that you play with your own mental health. While you're on the job, you are playing a game of Russian roulette with PTSD, chronic stress, burnout, compassion fatigue, moral injury. Some people can go through the job very untouched. Other people will break very, very slowly. And you don't know which one you are. But leaving reduces that risk as you go forward. It does not mean you're weak. What it does mean is that you have chosen sustainability, and there's a hell of a strength in that. Very important. Number nine. This is the one I'm a victim to. Being used as an example. Every organization has stories. The high performer, the one who messed up, the cautionary tale, and sometimes people will get used as examples. A career can change overnight in an instant. And your reputation can shift very, very quickly. Once you've left, you no longer become a performance managed by a discipline system. To become a stepping stone for somebody else. Which is putrid and poor and pathetic leadership. It's not even leadership. You are a putrid and pathetic person for doing it. You know who you are, and I know you listen. Because you can't help yourself. But you are putrid, and I will never forgive you for it. But for anybody else listening to this, keep it in mind. You are only one pathetic, weak and putrid manager away from being an example that they can use to make you a stepping stone. But when you leave, you're no longer living under that internal microscope. And they are still living their putrid and pathetic life. You are not one incident away from it defining you. And that is incredibly freeing when you're doing what you're doing today. One's thriving, one has to live with themselves. Number 10. One of the most important, you will miss it. And this is the part that no one understands unless they've actually done it. No one. You will miss it. You'll miss the car. You'll miss driving at high speed. You'll miss the radio. You will absolutely miss the team. You will miss the dark humor. No doubt about it. You'll miss your sense of purpose. And that's okay. Missing it doesn't mean that you made the wrong decision. It just means to you that it mattered. You got to do it. You got to serve. And you got to stand in places that most people wouldn't. You got to carry responsibility that few people will ever understand. And no one can ever take that from you. Not a resignation letter, not time, not distance. It's always part of your story. Don't be sad it's over. Smile because it happened. It doesn't have to be your entire identity. Don't base it on it. Smile because it happened. And the real question. If you've left, or you are about to, the real question isn't was it worth it? The real question is, who are you now? Not the badge, not the rank. Not the shift roster, you. The skills are all there. That character is still there. That resilience is still there. You're still there. Now you get to apply it completely differently and confidently. Because you are, you're a lot more confident. And that can be quite confronting to you. But it's also incredibly powerful. Now, today I'm going to finish up with this. And I want to be quite clear on it. Leaving policing is not a failure. Leaving the front line is not a failure. Sometimes it's just evolution. You served, you contributed, you did your time. But now you are choosing what comes next. And if you've walked this path, I'd love to hear what I missed because this conversation needs to be had more openly. And if you're in the middle of it right now, I want you to know you are not alone. And I hope you felt soon. Thank you for listening, and I'll catch you on the next one. Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe so you get notified whenever a new episode is released. It would also be ever so helpful if you could leave a rating and review on the app you're currently listening on. If you want to know more about me or work with me, you can go to ahealthyshift.com. I'll catch you on the next one.